i can't explain!

been feeling down today..
i can't explain it either
i am feeling tired..tired of my everyday routine..
its just so predictable and i am kind of getting really really bored...
well not just bored its something even deeper like a candle in me dying any moment
not literally i meant.
i mean i knoiw change is not good..but sometimes i wished something could just turn out differently..
like i don't want a mundane life..with everything happending so expectedly
i don't seem to anticipate anymore
like there's nothing in life i look forward to...
just passing each day like sitting in a train...zoom
and its gone..
i didn't smiled much today..nor did i want to talk alot like my usual self..
sometimes i just want to be alone..
in a bus keeping quiet and just sticking my mp3 into myear and blocked everyone around me
its like the only way sometime to cure this sudden maddness is to be left alone..
being solace might just turn out right instead..
sometimes i feel like keeping quiet hoping someone would start conver first..
and not always me taking the every intiative..
ya know? its kinda tiring at some point....
if ppl keep on relying on me to intiate things..
i get this sick feeling...(i am not saying i intiate alot,but its better than not right?)
i am not pinpointing anyone in mind...its just make me sad to find this happening every so often
ooh did i say i have like completely zero food i want to eat?
its kinda scary one min i want htia snd that and now...if u asked me what i want
i will be like......"NOTHING!"

i know i am emoing but i had to really rant it out somewhere..